exiledmothers.com
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Adoption is not about unwanted babies it is about unwanted mothers.Open Adoption, Closed Adoption, Domestic Adoption"Why BIRTHMOTHER Means BREEDER" by Diane TurskiHome*Disembabyment: How Our Babies Were TakenADOPTION FACTS : Open Adoption = Open LIES!|| The Industry || Damage to Mothers || Damage to Babies || Why Records Closed || FAQVoices From ExileSpeaking Out!Young and Pregnant?Keep Your Baby!BIRTHMOTHERS.INFOLiving With Loss: ResourcesRecommended BooksWebringsGuestbook{BOTTOMNote: The terms "unwed" mother, "birthmother","birthfather" "biological" parentsmake a parent appear to be less than the mother or father they are. These terms dehumanize and limit the parent's role to that of an incubator. "Dear Birthmother" and "Dear Birthparent" letters soliciting for healthy babies are despicable.Using the honest terms "mother", "single mother" or "natural mother" help the public to understand that real family members are being separated to obtain babies for adoption.Adoption: Mothers In ExileWe are mothers who lost our babies to the adoption industry in both closed adoptions and "open" adoptions. NONE of us willingly surrendered our children.None of us "gave them away."Our babies were NOT gifts. They were NOT "unwanted."We were exiled from our babies NOT because we were proven unfit, but because we were vulnerable (young, single, sick, or poor), and lied-to and coerced by social workers, doctors, lawyers, maternity homes, and churches: brokers that made money from selling our babies to a market driven by "consumer" demand."... it is quite possible that, in the near future, unwed mothers will be "punished" by having their children taken from them right after birth. A policy like this would not be executed -- nor labeled explicitly -- as "punishment." - Unmarried Mothers, by Clark Vincent (1961)Silenced for decades by shame and guilt, we suffered alone with our grief, believing we were the only ones. Now we find we are not alone - there are many others of us who did not surrender by choice. And if there is only one option, there is not a choice. Reunited with our children, we now see first-hand the pain that adoption caused them. They told us we'd forget. They told us to "get over it," "put it behind us," and "get on with our lives." They tell our children we "gave them away."Exiled mothers never forget. We never stopped loving our babies. We never stopped missing our babies. "Contrary to popular belief, mothers don't go on in this world after "giving up" a child, enjoying their lives and forgetting the child ever existed. Even though people would love to think this is true, its not the reality of the situation for most of us. Our lives are colored by the tramatic event and we are never the same afterwards. Most of us grieve for years .... - Jaymie Frederick, professional
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